October 2021

The New Life of a Transgender Man in Spain – The Story of Anton Shadur

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A Star Torn Away and Life with Unfulfilled Desires

I have never had a process of self-discovery, because I always knew that I was not female, but I remember when I was silenced and I was told not to talk, not to express myself, to erase myself and obey the instructions of family members, wear a dress, act like a girl, I always forced myself and tried to be more feminine. I had decided since childhood that my appearance needed to change, I knew I would grow up and it would all be a thing of the past, I would live in a body in which I felt more comfortable. I had a joke like this – when a star is torn away, make a wish and it will come true, I have always dreamed that my life and body would change.

Then I thought I was not living in my body, I was in someone else’s body and I was living another person’s life. Today, when I think I have a little regret for spending so many years in self-denial, I often thought that if not for the prevailing opinion about femininity and masculinity, that you must have breasts to be a woman, that you must have muscles to be a man, Maybe I would not have needed so much resistance. Nor waiting for the stars to fall down from heaven to make my dreams come true.

“Shocking Asia” and Identity Found on a Shining Screen

I was born in 1980, early childhood coincided with the Soviet “perestroika”, adolescence and the turning age with the collapse of the Soviet Union and the dark and cold 90s, there was no information about trans people at that time. Nothing about the transition process. I thought that what I “needed”, no one else needed and I was the only one.

Then the internet and computers appeared, I got information from Russian sources, but I could not identify myself with either gays or lesbians, I knew that a romantic relationship with a woman was not my main goal and I felt that there was something else that bothered me internally.

Once, I accidentally saw the documentary “Shocking Asia” on TV, after which I hoped to grow up, go to India, have surgeries and change my gender. The film is about transgender Thai women. But I realized that I needed similar surgeries.

What Would my Life be If I Stayed in Georgia

I left Georgia for Spain at the age of 26, in 2006, I do not remember a single moment when I felt comfortable in my body, the quality of life and happiness was very low – in times of joy and pain, I always remembered that I was not me, my body was somewhere else, outside and I had not yet found it. As time went on, it became more and more difficult. As I got older, it all got harder as other age-related difficulties and challenges added to make the process more difficult.

I made the assumption that I might not leave the country and live in Georgia forever, but I felt that I could not live long in Georgia, at most, if I did not commit suicide until I was 40, I would definitely be killed by grief and hiding. I knew I would have a mediocre life. I did not even think about Coming out and transitioning in Georgia. For 26 years no one had come out, everyone thought I was weird, a bit hippy and progressive, different from the majority.

In 2006 it suddenly happened that I had to leave the country, I moved to Spain, I always knew that this day would definitely come, I would leave my homeland and move to another country, here I saw a transgender person for the first time and realized that the transformation process was approaching.

History of Transitioning, Mental Health and Changes

Earlier, when I started the transition process, in Spain it was necessary to have a psychiatrist’s conclusion, today this process is also simplified, no one asks for a psychiatrist’s conclusion that you are really a transgender person. It is mandatory to have an endocrinological and genetic examination, that your body is ready to start the transition process, that there will be no side effects to taking hormones, however, it is desirable, though not mandatory, to take a course of therapy with a psychologist who will take care of your mental state and prepare for big changes.

After the obligatory endocrinological and genetic examinations, I started hormone therapy in about half a year, at first this therapy was more intensive, then it was reduced, I did several surgeries after testosterone, including surgery to cut out the uterus and ovaries.

Testosterone is a complex hormone and is accompanied by many difficulties, the body undergoes significant changes, I have changed muscle mass, I felt that my bones were changing, I was very thin and I gained weight, I changed my shape, my nose and ears grew. I was told that hormone therapy was causing a change in character, I might have become more rude, but in my case the opposite happened, and I and those around me noticed that I became calmer.

Life after transitioning

I often hear and have been asked: Were you a woman and toyu are a man now? What if you don’t want it anymore? What if you change your mind about it ? are you sure? Do you do it out of spite? Most of these questions are annoying, as if I was someone else and now I am different, I want to tell these people that nothing has fundamentally changed in my personality through these processes, I have always been who I am now, you just now start to notice all that i couldn’t show you for years.

As I imagined the end result, it surpassed my expectations, at every step I felt that not only was my body changing but also my mental state was changing and I was becoming a better person, with a calmer and happier life, I remember people around me saying that now they got why i was so heartbroken this whole time.

I returned to Georgia in 2019, I wanted to change my name in my passport and I did not meet any resistance, the Justice Officer was a little surprised that I was a woman by birth, but this process was not complicated, in general, the most acceptance from LGBT+ community have transgender heterosexual men because they look like heterosexuals and, as a rule, heterosexual men enjoy the most privileges. After changing my gender, I realized how much my life has become easier, how different they look at me when I speak, they hear differently, which surprises me a little because I speak the same, although I am already a man to them and deserve different respect.

The Difference Between Spanish and Georgian Society and the State Services that Transgender People Receive:

The Spanish LGBT community is steps ahead of the Georgian LGBT community, they are already accepted and bolder, the main purpose of life here is no longer to gain rights, their main goal is life and happiness, no one thinks about survival here, they know they have no limits and are protected, there is homophobia here too, however the reactions of the state and society are very harsh towards any manifestation of homophobia, the law applies and homophobia will not go unpunished. The Georgian approach does not work here, as if LGBT people should give up something and take into account the will of the majority. Here all human rights are protected and no one gives up anything.

Nowadays, in Spain when it comes to reviewing sex policies, accepting non-binary people and admitting the third sex, activists are working very hard to come up with articles denoting the third sex and the language to be more adapted to modern challenges. In Spain, there is a Ministry of Equality that works very effectively on LGBT issues, and its female minister is very much trying to pass a law that will further simplify the transition process, the process of changing the gender mark, and so on.

And most importantly, unlike in Georgia, where transgender people fail to see a doctor before they begin the transition process and often prescribe hormones themselves without the intervention of specialists and specialists, Spain has a very efficient health care system tailored to the needs of LGBT people. Gender reassignment procedures are free in almost all regions of Spain, the insurance applies to both Spanish citizens and people who simply have the right to reside or live on Spanish soil without this right.

Tips for Parents of Transgender People

Recently, there was one such case when the parent of a 6-year-old transgender girl who changed the education system and bothered a lot of people to change her child’s name in a school magazine, I have never seen such devotion and protection of a child in Georgia, not only from transgender parents, from the parents of heterosexual people.

The first interest of the parent should be the happiness of the child and the answers to this should not be sought in society, neighborhood and kinship, the child themselves knows when hey is happy and what they wants, we should listen to our children and understand how they imagine their own happiness, the child is not a project that you write in advance what and how should happen in their life, such projects are always waiting to fail, there will never be a happy person whose life was written by the parents without communication with the child and without considering the needs of the child. They will be an unhappy child.

Our life is already very difficult and your rejection complicates everything 100 times over, the therapy helped me a lot to overcome a lot of difficulties and one of the difficulties was that I still do not have a relationship with my parents. No human life is perfect without family support, family support means that whoever opposes you and whoever does not run away from you, family love will still be enough to make you feel happy, do not deprive your children of this support. We, as humans, need recognition first and foremost from our family and loved ones, if we do not get it, no sense in any therapies and help from psychologists, our lives will still not be perfect.

Text and visual decoration: Zura Abashidze

Photo: Anton Shadour’s personal album

 

 

 

 

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The Center for Social Justice Appealed to the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe on the Case “Identoba and Others vs Georgia”

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The Center for Social Justice Appealed to the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe on the Case “Identoba and Others v. Georgia”

The Center for Social Justice, together with the LGBT rights organization ILGA-Europe, has written to the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe to provide information on the fundamental rights of LGBT people.

The report aims to inform the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe on the status of enforcement of the judgment of the European Court of Human Rights in the case of Identoba and Others v. Georgia.

The case of “Identoba and Others v. Georgia” concerns the failure to protect and effectively investigate the inhuman and degrading treatment of peaceful assembly participants by homophobic groups on May 17, 2021, International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. The European Court of Human Rights ruled in this case in 2015 and found a violation of Article 3 of the Convention (prohibition of torture) and Article 11 (freedom of assembly and association) in conjunction with Article 14 (prohibition of discrimination).

Photo: Dima Chikvaidze / Tabula

Enforcement of the decision of the violent groups to disperse the LGBT activists’ rally on May 17, 2021 has not yet been closed by the Committee of Ministers, and it annually reviews the Georgian government on the state of freedom of assembly and protection of LGBT people from violence and reforms in the country. The execution of this case is under the enhanced supervision of the Committee of Ministers and the state is obliged to periodically submit a report on the execution of the decision and an action plan to the Committee.

Photo: Netgazeti

The report critically describes the state’s legitimization of violent acts by far-right radical groups and the vicious practice of ineffective investigation of particularly serious and high-profile homo/transphobic crimes, creating a sense of tolerance and impunity in society for such crimes. The communication reviews the institutional shortcomings that hinder the effective realization of the rights of LGBT groups. The communication pointed to the need to establish a specialized investigative agency in the system of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, which will work directly on hate crimes.

“The state has not been able to ensure the right of LGBT people to freedom of assembly and expression for years, which has reappeared in the wake of the events surrounding the March 5-6, 2021, March of Honor. Although clerics and leaders of ultra-conservative groups openly expressed their intention to disrupt the March 5 Dignity of Honor, including by violent means, the state failed to provide timely prevention of the risks of violence and to protect the right of LGBT activists to assemble. Law enforcement failed to thwart attacks on LGBT activists and journalists by homophobic groups on July 5-6. In addition, the apparent violent calls of the leaders of the clergy and ultra-conservative groups and the question of the responsibility of the organizers have so far remained without proper legal response. All this creates the impression of deliberate inaction on the part of the state and the instrumentalization of LGBT activists for political purposes.”

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I am a Football Player and I am Gay – The Coming Out Story of an Australian Football Player

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Adelaide United player Josh Cavallo has come out and at the moment he is the only top-level professional in the world to have said it out loud.

The 21-year-old footballer wrote on social media that he was ready to talk about something personal. “I am a football player and I am gay. The only thing I want to do is to play football and to be equal.” – said the midfielder.

“I have been fighting with my sexuality for six years now, and I’m glad I can put that to rest. I am tired of trying to perform at my best and to live this double life, it’s exhausting.”- says Josh Cavallo.

According to Josh, this has affected his mental state as well, he was “going into dark places”. “At the end of the day I just wanted to be happy. This is bigger than football, it’s my life. I’d go home and I wasn’t happy. It just slowly eats away at you and it’s not something I wish upon anyone.”

A famous football player, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has responded to the coming out of Cavallo: “You are a Champion. Football is for everybody. Big respect.”

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The Society Does Not Want Those Who Speak with Hatred in Politics – Tamar Kordzaia

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Tamar Kordzaia, one of the first Georgian politicians, that comes to mind when talking about the queer community and the protection of their rights. In the run-up to the election, Queer contacted her and asked her what she thought of ethics and gender councils, sexual harassment and ways to address the issues of the queer community.

“The biggest problem of the LGBT community is overcoming alienation and fear in the society. If the fear of alienation is overcome, I think, then there will be no more such problems, although it is very difficult to overcome. We still do not realize that their free presence in society poses no threat. They do not want to see this because these stereotypes are supported by false information that is spread, they feed on this fear of the society, and the mechanisms against it are weak. Some political parties now realize that they already need to take a step back and not fall prey to the vote. I remember Nika Melia behaving very well, coming out and saying that he did not want the votes of the oppressors.

The Ethics Council is, in practice, inactive, even though, in my opinion, it has a lot to do in this Parliament. I have personally applied for membership in the Ethics Council. As for the Gender Equality Council, it wrote down plans and they seem to have implemented them, but in reality these plans are also just for show. These plans are being written, but we see that nothing is being done. When the Gender Equality Council has a chairperson who sees no problem in the fact that his or her male co-worker touches his female co-worker and justifies this man, it is impossible to have gender sensitivity. There is a woman trustee in the parliament. Why? Because if a woman behaves unjustly or breaks a rule, a trusted woman should come to her and not a trusted man. Consequently, having no response to the violation of these standards and, conversely, believing that a woman has misbehaved, I do not believe in those gender council reforms.

In addition, we have a lot of changes in the legislation, NGOs are working hard to improve these laws. The law on sexual harassment has been amended, but in reality nothing is being done to establish institutional mechanisms to respond to sexual harassment in public institutions. The mechanism is effective only when you can talk about it in public and not lose your job. The internal mechanism has been adopted by two organizations – the Civil Service Bureau and the State Inspector Service. There are shortcomings as well, but the main thing is that at least two agencies have expressed their will.

Unfortunately, we do not have such mechanisms in the parliament, through which they will be able to respond legally to cases of sexual harassment on the principle of confidentiality. The existence of a gender equality or ethics council alone is not enough. For example, the Ethics Council refers to the actions of a Member of Parliament, but there are numerous positions in Parliament that people hold. Is it possible for the Gender Equality Council to initiate this in the Parliament, to create an screening tool for sexual harassment? If a person is harassed at work, her life is ruined and then her voice is removed, it is not effective to develop mechanisms against sexual harassment in the state. The main purpose is not to punish the harasser as an example and impose some fines. The main goal is for a person to be able to protect his or her rights in a way that does not require restoration.

All self-governing bodies are obliged to have an officer who will work on gender equality issues and all issues will be examined by this person in the context of gender equality. When I reviewed and started to study this, the ineffective mechanism often did not work and you do not even understand this mechanism. The Gender Equality Council did not vote when the Electoral Code was amended. The only one we should rely on is the Constitutional Court, which said that 1 in 3 should be of the opposite sex when voting. All this means that we do not have progress in this direction, we have the same situation as we had then, for example, in 2015.

It is a model for me when Nino Bolkvadze participated in the elections – she came out and said who she was and what she wanted to do. Turned out to be much smarter and more qualified, ethical, attacks in moderation and doesn’t get angry, she was ready unlike other politicians. It is true that she did not succeed, but neither did those who came to politics with homophobia.

For example, the last was Vato Shakarashvili. The public does not want in politics those who speak with hatred. If you come to politics for progress, you have to go for construction, and when you come for hatred and destruction, even, for the destruction of one person’s life, if you say that someone should sit at home and not come out, you are ruining that someone’s life. That is why society does not want it internally, it can be seen and confirmed. ”

Author: Tamar Kutateladze

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The United States has Issued the First Gender-neutral Passport

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Applicants are allowed to choose their own gender and are no longer required to submit a medical certificate if their gender does not match the gender specified in the other identification documents.

The State Department did not disclose the identity of the passport recipient, but Dana Zim, a resident of Fort Collins, Colorado, told the Associated Press in a telephone interview that it was their passport.

Zim, who uses a gender-neutral pronoun, has been fighting since 2015 to obtain a gender-neutral passport. They says that by doing so they will help the next generation of intersex people to gain recognition as full citizens.

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Problems and Challenges of Legal Recognition of Gender

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Author: Tamar Avaliani

As a result of stereotypes, homophobic and transphobic attitudes in society, and the insensitive, often discriminatory policies of the state, many transgender people face rights violations and problems in appealing to the courts.

Transgender people face problems due to the unpredictable and discriminatory procedures of legal recognition of gender, which create artificial barriers to transgender people in terms of both social and judicial access.

Georgian legislation does not provide for the effective procedures necessary for gender recognition, which would make it possible for a transgender person to have the desired gender indicated in personal identification documents.

The Law on Civil Acts establishes unforeseen and inhumane procedures for the legal recognition of gender, creating artificial barriers for transgender people. Transgender individuals face major problems with changes to the civil record. According to the Law on Civil Acts, one of the grounds for making changes in the record of civil acts is gender reassignment. The law does not specify what is meant by gender reassignment, or procedure for changing the gender record, which makes the law even more vague and unforeseeable.

Legal recognition of gender in Georgia is related to medical procedures. In fact, there is no legal document that would regulate this issue in detail and create adequate legal opportunities for transgender people who want to change the gender record in their identification documents.

Despite the lack of legislation, state agencies and common courts require proof of surgery to change the gender record, which is extremely expensive and sometimes even life-threatening. In Georgia, as far as I know, sex reassignment surgery, including all its components, has not yet been performed. Above-mentioned surgery is dangerous to health. It causes permanent sterilization and irreversible health problems.

Transgender people have to choose between life-threatening surgery and legal recognition of gender. No trans-specific clinical guidelines and protocols have been developed in Georgia to protect the lives and health of transgender people. Also, there are no state programs to fund trans-specific surgical procedures. The costs of sex reassignment surgery are not reimbursed by insurance either. Due to the unreasonably expensive price of sex correction, no transgender person living in Georgia can have this operation. The European Court of Human Rights in the case of Schlumpf v. Switzerland explained that for a transgender woman in a post-operative condition, being refused surgery, given her age, was a violation of her right to privacy and family life because the state failed to strike a balance between the interests of the insurance company and the applicant.

According to the Public Defender of Georgia, the state forces trans people to undergo medical procedures related to sex reassignment without defining the standards of these procedures and the quality monitoring mechanism, which is the responsibility of the state. The Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe (PACE) in its Resolution 2048 (2015) expresses concern over the existence of financial barriers to accessing sex reassignment procedures for transgender people and calls on States to make sex reassignment procedures accessible to transgender people; Ensure that these procedures are reimbursed from the public health insurance scheme and that the reimbursement-related limitations are lawful, objective and proportionate.

According to the World Health Organization (ICD-11) classifier, gender identity disorders have been replaced by the term gender incongruence. The Georgian medical system considers transgenderism in terms of full medicalization and pathology and does not take the wide spectrum of transgenderism into consideration.

In addition to personal stress, the contradiction between sex as defined in official documents and a person’s gender self-expression often becomes grounds for discrimination against transgender persons in labor relations, in public and private institutions, where the presentation of personal identification documents is required. In 2014 Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) discussed the issue and called on the Georgian state to “lift restrictions on transgender people obtaining identification documents.”

The European Court of Human Rights in the case – A.P. GARÇON AND NICOT v. FRANCE explained that requiring gender reassignment surgery for legal recognition of gender is a violation of the right to respect for private and family life under Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights. With regard to sexual orientation and gender identity, the Yogyakarta Principles clarify that everyone has the right to have their human rights without discrimination on the basis of gender. The law should prohibit any discrimination and ensure equal rights for all. General Recommendation # 28 of CEDAW obliges Member States to take appropriate measures to eliminate discrimination on the grounds of gender and sex.

Recommendation CM / Rec (2010) 5 of the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe on the elimination of discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity sets out in detail the measures to be taken by the state to eliminate discrimination and calls on it to develop an effective legal instrument.

The Human Rights Committee notes in its concluding remarks that “the state should take effective measures against any form of social stigmatization of homosexuality, bisexuality or transgenderism, as well as to combat discrimination or violence against persons on the basis of hate speech, sexual orientation or gender identity.”

Therefore, it is important for the Ministry of Justice of Georgia to bring its legislation and practice into line with the World Health Organization ICD-11 classifier (Gender incongruence) and to transgender sex in identification documents based on a medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria and not to request a sex reassignment surgery certificate.

The case of Nikolo Ghviniashvili

With the legal assistance of the Georgian Young Lawyers’ Association, Nikolo Ghviniashvili filed a complaint to the European Court of Human Rights. The complaint concerned the refusal of state bodies to reflect the desired gender in Nikolo Ghviniashvili’s identification documents.

Nikolo Ghviniashvili is a transgender man living in Georgia, a citizen of Georgia, who has identified himself as a man since young age. Due to the discrepancy between Nikolo Ghviniashvili’s appearance and the gender indicated in the identification documents, Nikolo has repeatedly been the victim of degrading treatment and has had problems in his relations with public and private institutions.

Nikolo Ghviniashvili asks the European Court of Human Rights to find Georgia guilty of violation of Articles 8 (right to respect for private and family life), 3 (prohibition of torture) and 14 (prohibition of discrimination) of the European Convention.

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How Can the Problems of the Queer Community in Georgia be Solved – Politicians’ Comments

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The second round of municipal elections will be held on October 30 in 5 self-governing cities, 15 municipalities and 24 constituencies. Citizens will elect 20 mayors and 42 majoritarian members of city councils. Politicians work 24/7 to convince voters.

We again met with representatives of various parties and asked only two questions – what do they know about the problems of the LGBTQ + community and how would they address these problems. My goal as a journalist working on queer topics is for these issues to be addressed not just by the politicians that journalists often address – in general, by everyone. The fact is that politicians are more or less changed and believe that the problems of the queer community should be solved at the state level.

Giorgi Kandelaki – European Georgia

​​“The LGBTQ community in Georgia is in a difficult legal, social and economic situation, queer people face challenges in daily life and their security and have been deprived of their constitutional rights – including the right to freedom of expression and assembly. The situation is especially difficult for the trans community, which is one of the most vulnerable groups in Georgia.

The Georgian government encourages homophobic, hate-motivated crime – both through action and inaction, and through the impunity of perpetrators. Over the years, this has created and encouraged violence. At the same time, the government is trying to instrumentalize this issue for political purposes, just as the Putin regime is doing in Russia – to discredit the country’s civilized Western development. Therefore, this issue is not limited to human and minority rights, it is also a national security issue. The most tragic illustration of all this was July 5, when the government entered into an open alliance with violent extremist groups linked to the occupying state and guaranteed their impunity.

At the same time, the patriarchate plays a not insignificant role in all this. The activity of the figures of the Patriarchate, who are distinguished by their political and anti-Western geopolitical statements, suggests that they are driven not by theology but by something else entirely – their spirit is contrary to the tolerant and essentially European worldview destroyed by totalitarian regimes. These were Ambros Khelaia and Grigol Peradze.

In general, the condition of the queer community, in terms of severity, can be assessed metaphorically – hellish. The key to solving these problems is in a government that provides security for everyone and special needs for those groups who are not properly protected. Eliminating hate-motivated crime requires a strong will, a belief in the ideals of democracy and freedom, and many steps taken to ensure an equal environment before the law.

At the same time, it is important to understand that the denial of the rights guaranteed by law to one of the groups completely destroys the state structure and favors those who oppose Georgia becoming part of the free world.”

Zura Girchi Japaridze – “Girchi – More Freedom”

“The main problem is in peoples’ brains, part of the population has homophobia and xenophobia in their brains. The rest of the problems also start from here. Finally, the solution is education and education again. Changing perceptions is very difficult, especially in the older generation. I want to tell you that it is difficult to solve these problems in the short run.

In my opinion, the way out of this is economic development and education. I do not believe that our type of society can intervene and change anything. Homophobia is not a problem of one or two people, homophobia is in government structures, law enforcement agencies, everywhere … Therefore, I have little faith that something in the codex can fix something. I believe that this requires economic development, a change in people’s thinking and this problem will be gradually removed. In general, a lot of people talk about these problems in public – this is the solution.

The political spectrum tries not to upset the population and if it thinks that the mood of the majority of the population is homophobic, they obviously avoid taking a public position. There is something where I have a different opinion on the demands of LGBT groups, but that their rights should be protected and they should not be victims of violence, for example, I have full agreement. Politicians, unfortunately, look at what would be electorally beneficial for them. Because I always openly defend the rights of the LGBTQ + community and I state this openly, my opponents, especially in the regions, go to the people and say about me “faggot”.

I have to explain a difficult concept, how to get the country out of economic problems, and so on. They move with this simple message. Even when I am in favor of legalizing marijuana, they say that I am pro drug addiction. This is what happens in this society, such messages work.”

Oto Zakalashvili – Girchi

“In general, no one’s rights are protected in the country, including the queer community. This is very bad, of course. I believe that a person has the right to be homophobic, of course, to the extent that he does not harm others and does not incite violence, even though I do not agree with homophobes.

I have heard many times that violence against transgender people has taken place and i have always condemned it. Here, for example, some people can not rent an apartment to a member of the community because it will badly affect their reputation. I understand these people too, you find it hard to go openly against society.

I think that in order to solve the problems, we should provide the public with more information about the queer community, the problems of the community. Even about the fact that homophobia is shameful. To talk about human rights, we need judicial reform for the queer community and not just the queer community. This is the only way we can solve the problems. If we do not solve this, no matter what we do, we will always be in trouble because we will not have a fair trial and people with a homophobic attitude will always do what they want.”

Sergo Chikhladze – Strategy Agmashnebeli

“There are many problems that I have personally worked on – lack of access to health, medical services, etc. Various studies also show that not only are medical problems, the community also has a problem accessing legal services. But I, as a specialist, focus on medical services.

Looking back at the last 15 years, in terms of the stigma and discrimination that exists towards the community, it seems that some problems have been reduced. However, this does not mean that there are no problems, on the contrary. In my opinion, the solution is to increase the education of the society, to provide more information so that it does not think about some myths and stereotypes. In general, not only the LGBTQ + community, everyone is worried about social problems, but in the case of the community, it is even more difficult. The state must be the guarantor of the constitution, and the constitution clearly states that the rights of all people must be protected, regardless of which group they belong to.

Violent groups in the country should not be encouraged. Let us recall July 5 – if there is no encouragement from the state, such groups will not dare to take such open actions. One direction is the right actions of the state, the firm position that the rights of the queer community should be protected and all violent cases should be properly investigated-punished. The second line is to educate the public, to inform what various non-governmental organizations are doing within the framework of the projects. But this is a drop in the ocean, the involvement of the state in this is necessary.

We are not tolerant of different positions, of different opinions. In general, we express aggression towards the oppressed groups. The work of individual organizations or media outlets is important, although it is impossible across the country. By coordinating with the state and these organizations, we can achieve results in the long run.”

Ana Tsitlidze – United National Movement

“I know a lot about the problems of the queer community and I often help them personally. For example, about a year ago I had a case where a community member had a housing problem. In general, they had a problem with public relations and I was just involved in this story, helping to find housing, solving problems. You also know that solving such issues is especially problematic in the region. I have personally been in my environment, working to have a place to live, not to be under pressure from the community and to feel comfortable.

I think the most important thing here is the role of the state – it must be a guarantee that the rights of these people will be protected, it must be able to protect its citizens. The guarantee of human rights will be when there are educated people in politics who will do everything to ensure that members of the LGBTQ community have the right to live as they wish, and the state must allow this.

It’s just that the government has public statements on these issues.”

Vato Surguladze – Lelo

“This is a very complex issue because, unfortunately, we lack education and respect for others. Every person has his own opinion and the right to express it. You have to learn to accept a person’s opinion, especially if that person does not bother you and is not responsible for you.

Unfortunately, we do not know this, even though we are a tolerant nation. The solution to this problem can be to explain. The more we explain to them and show them that discrimination and homophobia is bad, the more training, the more education… For this we will have to go a long way and, of course, all this must be done with the support of the state. However, you know how the state plays a negative role in this story, just May 17 and July 5 are enough to remind you. Indeed, members of the community suffer daily oppression and the state is doing nothing to eliminate it.”

Author: Tamar Kutateladze

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Intersex Flag and The History of Its Creation

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Intersex people’s flag has a yellow background and a purple circle in the center. The concept of the flag was created by an intersex person in 2013. The author, Morgan Carpenter, explains it as follows:

The flag consists of a yellow background with a purple circle emblem. Colors and circles completely avoid the use of symbols that have anything to do with gender. For example, the trans flag is highlighted in blue and pink binary. The circle is continuous and ornamented, it symbolizes the wholeness, completeness and our capabilities. We are still fighting for body autonomy and genital integrity, and that symbolizes the right to be who we want to be. ”

Intersex people often have experiences such as, having been deprived of their own body autonomy and privacy from an early age, instead of having to make their own decisions at an age adequate for them.

The Intersex Flag

The word “intersex” is most commonly used to describe a person born with variations in sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, genitals, gonads, or sex hormones. Thus, an intersex person can be born or develop with the anatomical features that we associate with male and female anatomy. Because anatomical differences do not substantially correspond to gender or sexual identity, an intersex person may be a woman, a man, a non-binary person, a transgender person, or a person with any other gender identity. Therefore, intersex people can also be identified as straight, lesbian, gay, gay, asexual and more.

Source: ihra.org.au

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Lela Lashkhi – This World Belongs to Everyone Equally

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How would I describe myself? – honest, fair, anarchist.

Role model women, literature and music

There are three role model women in my life: First, my mother – who is a symbol of dignity and hard work for me; Italian singer Yolanda Giulotti (aka Dalida) – her amazingly tragic and unfair life is really motivational for me to not let anyone use me, to separate my personal life from my career, and to realize that suicide has no place in my life. Her music has always inspired me. Jana Dark – I think there is a need to explain what I like about this person. French writer and philosopher, Simone de Beauvoir, French sculptor, Camille Claudel and French writer – Isabel-Sidon Colette. Except of my mother and Camille Claudel, all three are strong, independent, women full of fundamental values ​​and rational ideas, with amazing analytical skills. This is what I like the most in a woman.

My first book was The Little Prince, which I to this day read at least once a year. Vazha-Pshavela was definitely my favorite. Then Shakespeare, Sartre, Beauvoir, Faulkner, Nietzsche, Kafka, Joys, Bulgakov… The list is so long that it’d take me the whole day to write it. Each work by each author is, of course, emotional and, whether you like it or not, they affect your mood. You have a different attitude towards life when you read a lot of stories of different genres, forms, scopes and values.

Classical music is an integral part of my day and night – Tchaikovsky, Chopin. I love jazz too. I also listen to electronic music and alternative music. Apart from rap, I can relate to anything, but French music is still supreme for me – whatever has been created since the 80s till this day.

“Human rights, but not for women”

It’s not that easy to just talk about what freedom is. Everyone has their own understanding and everyone expresses it in different ways. However, maybe, freedom is when you have what you want. When you are where you feel good. When you are not in a rush to anywhere. When you are lying in a hammock, chewing on a piece of grass.

No matter where and how we talk about equality and women’s rights, the modern world is still not ready to accept and recognize them. For example, France is one of the leading countries in terms of human rights, you will often hear – droit de l’homme, mais pas pour les femmes (human rights, but not for women). For example, the judge still asks the raped woman during the trial whether she had an orgasm during the act…

Differences

 Despite everything, I really don’t think that I am different from anyone, because I was born this way. This is the problem of those who think there’s anything weird about it. I was never really into gay bars, that’s why my partner and I usually go to the same bars that everyone goes to, because I feel way less discriminated when I end up in such places by accident. It’s as if you are hiding from someone or something and it seems like a secret, hidden assembly. I don’t enjoy that in any way. On the contrary, it makes me feel oppressed and upsets me.

From a situational point of view, the existence of two people cannot be the same because of their interests, intellectual abilities, mentality, values ​​and attitudes. I don’t think it really matters if a person is heterosexual or gay.

Resistance and Self-defense

There is no point in opposing the category of people that tell you or make you comply to their established standards in any way, because this usually grows into more controversy and additional conflict. So it is better to have nothing to do with such community.

We always have to protect ourselves or others, at any time and space. Not everyone is able to deal with such things, that’s why I always show initiative. I have even engaged with a man that was verbally abusing his wife in the street, and when I got involved – he was ready to fight with me, to which I had an adequate answer. This reminds me of one time – there was a small church in the backyard of State University. I was a sophomore. There I was attacked by 2 guys that beat me up. I couldn’t have defended myself because one of them sneaked up on me from the back and knocked me out by hitting me in my head. Then they got an appropriate response for me. I don’t like remembering this period. Since then, I have had reflexes and there’s no way that anyone could approach me in a way that I wouldn’t notice.

I have resisted verbally, physically, but in some groups of people, it’s completely impossible and ineffective. Therefore, you should avoid and try to never cross paths with them, even if it concerns your own family members.

Life goes on and as time passes, it becomes more interesting to participate in it

Discrimination on homophobic grounds has never hindered me financially, because I have never not had income. Years ago, however, I worked in one of the most well-known institutions, where after learning about my personal life, my salary was reduced and then I was fired altogether.

The most bitter thing I can remember and I will never get over, was how I was banished by the whole sixth building when I was studying journalism. It has been more than 20 years since then, but this story still bothers me and arouses unpleasant emotions.

One phony girl, whom I sincerely loved, decided to take revenge on me for something that I hadn’t even done. I really didn’t do anything that she accused me of. My closest friends rejected me. They laughed at me behind my back. They told horrible stories about me. They showed me that they were punishing me for my views on sexual orientation. Years later, many of them apologized, but in my eyes they will forever be those people that rejected me and humiliated me on homophobic grounds. Yeah, you can glue a broken plate together, but it will never go back to its original shape. As time passed, I acquired the skill of indifference. Because I wanted to raise my child in a good environment I had to move to a different country. It was impossible to do that in Georgia back then, and now the situation is even worse.

Despite the fact that I have been desperate, hopeless, deceived, abused, and out of control many times, I always forced myself not to fall into depression. To go outside and do things instead of wallowing in my sadness and experiencing more failure, because life goes on and as time passes, it becomes more interesting to participate in it.

This world belongs to everyone equally 

I think that it is possible to overcome misogyny, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and other phobias by delivering correct information and education. And to the women that live in hostile environments, I say – never give up!

First of all, we need a reform of the educational system and since very young age, in all types of institutions, according to the developmental age, correct information should be delivered to the young generation: that people are born the way they are, that they belong next to us, that this world belongs to everyone equally. The rest of it comes with age. A person is strengthened by every emotional and thoughtful step that they take. The main thing is to find the proper path to get there.

How do you survive? – by never giving up on yourself.

Interview was prepared with the support of Women’s Fund Georgia (WFG)

 

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Let’s Start on Monday – We Can Do It!

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Author: Nino Bekaia

“On Monday I’m starting a new diet”, “I’m giving up smoking tomorrow”, “I’ll start working out after the New Year”, “I’ll start learning English once the summer is over, and I’ll get a certificate too” – are familiar phrases for many.

Why Monday? Or after the New Year? Or tomorrow?

As it turns out, people are more motivated to pursue their goals on particular dates. Also, after many Mondays and New Years have passed, the failure of unfulfilled goals can be left in the past and the goals can be linked to some new dates, hoping that this time they will be fulfilled. Holidays and the beginning of the week are a great example of this.

What happens on Monday, after the summer, or after the New Years? The Monday plans have shifted onto the next week, New Years have passed and the goals are still waiting for the next summer to arrive, or the next New Years. Now the pandemic is in the way, so let’s wait for next spring, or might as well wait till the spring is over as well, and so on. Months and years pass by and we keep circling things around, as our plans are rescheduled every once in a while.

Research done by American Psychological Association (APA) showed that the respondents considered the lack of willpower to be the main reason of failure to make significant changes. In such cases people start to feel that everything depends on their efforts/willpower and if there is a lack of those, they are weak and cannot achieve set goals. All this is reflected on our self-esteem. As a result of the frustrations that followed failure, they may even give up on setting new goals. They continue smoking and consuming alcohol, engaging in destructive behavior, not learning new languages and not exercising. As a result, the quality of life and health deteriorates.

In the last few years scientists have been studying the concept of willpower and they’ve come to a conclusion that, in fact, willpower is usually not the reason that prevents us from achieving our goals.

What are some main characteristics of willpower?

Resistance – going against one’s strong desires.

A limited timeline –  willpower has a limited timeline. It’s not a statistical concept that was given to us at birth.

Willpower is not permanent and it has its own limits. For example, in a stressful situation, no matter how strong our willpower is, it runs out or reaches a milestone. We can’t always depend on something that’s exhaustible, because that’s not a fair fight. The same way that one’s muscles will get tired after hours of working out and lose the ability to perform, willpower cannot work permanently.

Here I’d like to emphasize that willpower is the best tool to achieve short-term goals. Of course, it’s great to have a strong power of will, and if you’re one of those people that have it, congratulations. However, long-term goals, such as overcoming addictions, are dependent not only on willpower, but on planning the process, knowing what to do or how to act in particular situations.

Apart from willpower, achieving goals is related to discipline. Discipline is the process of acquiring a combination of skills and behaviors. In the process of bringing up children, the regime discipline has a crucial role, because it involves learning such tasks as eating, sleeping at home and outside. Since the child has no control over their regime, and therefore – does not possess the ability to fulfill those tasks independently, the parent has the critical role in the development and realization of a daily routine and regime. What happens when the child fails to follow the routine? – they do not consume enough food/consume it in inappropriate times; do not get enough sleep; fails to play and function properly. All this might lead to some long-lasting consequences. Is the case similar with adults?

The lack of a daily regimen and discipline has an effect on adults as well. Inadequate / unbalanced diet, disturbed sleep patterns, inactivity and consumption of psychoactive substances obviously have negative consequences. Discipline, like willpower, is attainable; it is not innate for anyone from birth and no one is endowed with the gift of discipline. Discipline is developed during childhood years and this process continues into adulthood. Family, school, community, etc. play a big role in this process.

Discipline is one of the fundamental cultural values ​​that ensure the functioning of the social system and is closely related to the level of civilization of a society. On the example of Georgia, the existence of discipline, to be more precise – the absence of it, manifests itself in different directions and applies to all areas – for example, going to sleep late. I cannot cite the official statistics on late sleep and sleep disorders in Georgia, but probably many of us remember the noise of children from the yard late in the evenings (obviously their parents are awake as well, and they go to work in the morning); being late everywhere and all the time, missed deadlines, chaotic private lives, and the consumption of psychoactive substances (here we can bring some statistical examples: the minimum age for tasting alcohol is 10 years. The study found that 1.6% of the general population due to alcohol abuse need to seek appropriate medical services. 31% of the population in Georgia consumes tobacco. The minimum age for first use of tobacco is 7 years for men and 9 years for women.

I have often heard phrases: “It was so nice in that country, no one ever made me wait”, “I want the same level of cleanliness and driving etiquette in Georgia too” and so on. Even I, as a more-or-less disciplined person felt comfortable when I was in Germany, where I didn’t have to wait and be upset because someone was late. I saw children that go to sleep on time and people that go to work early in the morning, that finished their jobs at 17:00 o’clock. I was jealous of the orderly transportation system and the high quality of life. However, I still understood that we are different. People, countries, cultures are different. The thing that makes Georgia a unique place, along with the beautiful nature and tasty food, is the freedom-loving creative people that do not like overly-orderly daily routine. Of course, there’s nothing bad about this. I would even say that I love the freedom and attitudes. However, balance is always somewhere there, between the military-style discipline and extreme disorganization. For a better quality of life and to live in a more benevolent and comfortable environment, for our own well-being, there is a need to become more disciplined.

Things can get in the way or hinder us from achieving a goal:

Past Experiences: Attempting and failing to achieve a goal, or planning it and postponing it several times. Thinking about past failures only hinders our present performance. Last year, last month and yesterday we were in a different situation, with different experiences. Now, that we have a chance to plan and approach the process differently, the chances of achieving a goal increase as well.

Fear of failure. Fear is absolutely normal – an emotion that everyone experiences. But constantly fearing that we will fail does not benefit us. Fear does not let us try again and increase the chances to achieve a goal. The fear of failure can be overcome by taking the first step. It can be a small step; the main thing is to take it.

Severe psycho-emotional state. If, for example, you are depressed and you find it hard to get up in the morning, take care of yourself and function properly, it is hard to set goals and implement them. As I said already, there are several resources needed for this. In such situation, the first stage is to get help – from a friend, family member, or a specialist.

Willpower and discipline, for many people, is associated with an impossible mission and extreme difficulties. But in fact, it is quite possible to become more disciplined, and it is not very hard and doesn’t require many sacrifices. It requires a desire, making the decision, getting information, planning, and making an effort. As a professional working with nicotine addiction, from personal experience I can say that planning a concrete goal and visualizing it in a clear way is very helpful in achieving a set goal. For example, if I want to start exercising regularly, it is a great step toward the goal.

Firstly, identify, what is that goal for? How will the exercise benefit me, why do I need it? Will physical activity make me healthier, better-looking, more productive? Or maybe everything at once? What will I be like, once I start exercising regularly? What will I look like? Imagine everything in detail: see what you’ll be wearing, where you will be, what you will feel.

Next, find information about the exercise (e.g. running). What should I do as a beginner? Should I start by power-walking or go straight to running? Are there any risks?

Find information on safety and equipment (for example, what kind of shoes are best for keeping my tendons safe?), what kind of clothes are best? And so on.

Let’s say, at first you are starting with power-walking for 30 minutes. The next step is to plan the date and time for when you’ll start running. Also calculate the time that it’ll take you to leave the house, walk/run and come back. If you have work at a particular hour, how long does your pre-work routine take, etc.

Once all of the above questions have been answered, start going outside on the planned day. Do you know the exact days that you will be going out on? What will happen in case of bad weather? Will it be postponed or will you work out at home?

There are days on which laziness, lack of time or other things might make you think – “I won’t exercise today, I’ll do it some other time”. Sometimes it’s necessary to put extra effort into it and still go out (unless you’re feeling unwell). Consistency is crucial in forming a new habit.

I have given this example to illustrate that planning precedes the achievement of a goal and is a necessary component. By working consistently and following the process step-by-step, we can achieve the goal.

Set one goal at a time – If I want to give up smoking and adjust my sleep patterns, I will first work on one goal, and afterwards – on another one.

Writing down a plan – that are in alignment with our values.

Work on your motivation – motivation is extremely important in acquiring new skills. Understand well the internal reasons for achieving a goal, which means that we make a decision because of something important and change our lives in a positive direction. I recommend that you write down all the reasons on a piece of paper. There may be even one, the quantity does not matter.

Know your strengths and weaknesses – by identifying them you’ll get a powerful tool for your journey.

Practice every day – here I don’t mean physical exercise (which is very useful in acquiring discipline), but the repetition of a behavior in practice. For example, if I want to start meditating, I have to do it at least a few days a week. I have to set some time aside for this, sometimes even force myself to do it. Once my brain has learned this behavior and the habit has formed, the goal is achieved.

Familiarize yourself with other people’s success – Find and get specific advice from those who have already gone through a similar path to achieve the goal. Often, most of these people can help us even with a small suggestion or encouragement. And if your goal is to involve a specialist, if you have the means, you should surely to include get their help.

In case of failure, accept it as a normal fact – and continue moving forward. Success is achieved by those who do not give up and have several attempts.

Celebrating victories – the path to a great goal consists of the realization of small goals. Be sure to mark each small step that brings you closer to the goal.

Find companions – get a consultation, get help and share your experiences. There are people that prefer doing some activities on their own, for example – exercising. However, most people like having companions in order to stay motivated.

Visualize success – See yourself clearly in relation to the goal. How did you feel when, for example, you adjusted your diet, how does regulating your sleep affect your productivity, temperament or appearance, what is the result of systematic exercise for you, etc.?

 

Being better and living in a better environment is everyone’s desire and right. By knowing how, we can acquire new skills, have better discipline and achieve our goals. Developing discipline helps us to have a better quality of life, to be healthier, happier and to create a comfortable environment for others as well.

 

References:

https://test.ncdc.ge/Handlers/GetFile.ashx?ID=f44c364d-a2f4-462b-a82a-bc952a8e50b9

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/why-monday-is-the-best-day-for-setting-new-goals.html

https://www.apa.org/topics/personality/willpower

 

Illustrations:

https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image?mediatype=illustration&phrase=key+to+success

https://media.istockphoto.com/vectors/young-female-character-lying-with-a-smartphone-in-bed-social-media-vector-id1176670896?k=6&m=1176670896&s=612×612&w=0&h=KELCDRc-Q6PfbEY0Ml2k0zdPp0hck5ip6rYKQfe6KcY=

https://media.istockphoto.com/vectors/flat-illustration-i-can-and-i-will-lettering-vector-id1144684017?k=20&m=1144684017&s=612×612&w=0&h=AXUtQ-ZZXJJfvYLYOi5KIKNr5zmO9Qcj4QsZ3VCqO9g=

https://snworksceo.imgix.net/dpn-34s/ede6dfce-f2d1-4421-82de-8b9b7d42290f.sized-1000×1000.png?w=800

https://www.freepik.com/premium-vector/diary-cute-note-elements-hand-drawn-doodles-bullet-journal-banners_12331710.htm#page=1&position=0&from_view=detail#&position=0&from_view=detail#position=0

https://www.freepik.com/premium-vector/vector-colorful-cute-illustration-woman-hand-fills-out-paper-diary-makes-plans-wedding_18980172.htm#page=1&position=38&from_view=detail#&position=38&from_view=detail

https://img.freepik.com/free-vector/business-woman-check-calendar-planning-day-work-month-projects-planner-check-events-calendars-female-character-with-pencil-illustration-task-scheduling-organization-management_229548-21.jpg?size=626&ext=jpg

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