May 2021

“I Would Erase the Past Two Years of My Life if I Could” – Story of a Queer Immigrant.

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Nino was forced to leave her family and country because of her sexual orientation. To escape from the rampant homophobia in Georgia, Nino seeked asylum in Germany, however, the road to safety and happiness turned out to be difficult and stressful.

With her request, Nino’s name has been changed in this story.

Where she grew up, in Kakheti, Nino has never hidden her feelings. She confidently said – “such a cool girl!” People around her didn’t bat an eye and attributed her phrases to being a child. Back then, Nino did not know what the word “lesbian” or “gay” meant. She perceived herself as “normal” and could not imagine that someone could refuse to accept her.

Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Church.

During teenage years, she was able to label her emotions. Meanwhile her family’s concern increased and she realized that she had to be more careful. Everything changed when Nino’s sister read messages on her phone, talking to an openly lesbian girl. “They took me to a psychiatrist, psychologist, and churches. They would not let me out of the house. I had to grow my hair out, wear dresses and make-up.” – recalls Nino.

At the age of 14, to escape her family, Nino ran away from home. She says that she made this decision after talking to a 30 year-old lesbian. That woman that introduced herself to Nino as a lesbian and flirted with her, easily gained the trust of a teenage girl, taking her to Tbilisi.

Before leaving, the woman told her to take out her sim-card, break it and throw it away. Nino became suspicious and did not follow through. It turned out that the woman was involved in trafficking, however, before making it to Turkey, police found them and arrested that woman.

Nino returned home. She was again taken to psychologists, psychiatrists and was given medication.

Gulnar

At the age of 18, she enrolled in University and moved to Tbilisi. She soon met a girl, Gulnar [name has been changed] that she fell in love with, whose parents wanted to marry her off.

“On her engagement night she sneaked out and came over to me. Her parents found out where I lived and took her away. She was badly beaten. The police got involved,” – recalls Nino and adds that her parents also found out and the pressure doubled. Because of stress, Nino was unable to study or work.

Nino lived with her friend, her partner – in a women’s shelter, when she did something she could never imagine. With the help of her friends, they collected some money and bought the cheapest flight and left Georgia.

The Leaving

The first steps in Berlin brought Nino relief. She felt as if she had left all of her problems behind. On the other hand, her heart ached for her family that she still loved and would never see again.

“I had decided that I would never come back “, – says Nino.

Upon arrival, Nino and Gulnar became refugees. Here starts another extremely difficult period in Nino’s life.

She recalls that she was placed in a shelter for asylum seekers, where rainwater leaked and it was very unhygienic. It was such a nightmare that we started contemplating going back on the first day.

On the second day, their documents were taken away. According to Nino, during the search, she was treated without dignity. Finally, without any explanation they were given train tickets to Leipzig.

Even without any knowledge of the language and complex transportation network, Nino and Gulnar made it to Leipzig. However, they found themselves in a worse situation than before. “We were given a room that did not lock. We could not leave our items there, or sleep peacefully. There was a communal shower that also did not lock. Men barged in a few times” – says Nino.

Due to horrendous conditions, Nino came to the administration with a complaint and she was redirected to a different city. When they arrived there, Gulnar’s relatives suddenly appeared and took photos of her, to send them to her parents.

“There was a conflict and even assaulted me with a chair”, – recalls Nino.

Girls went to German NGOs that work with LGBT issues. With its help they were given a room in a Queer dorm. The dorm was better, however, Nino and Gulnar had to be “twice as hungry” since by saying no to asylum they also refused free meals. They did not have a right to work and they were only given 30 euros each, weekly, which was not enough.

After this, with the help of the NGO they moved to a different flat. “We arrived, put down our bags, and were greeted with my partner’s parents. They barged into our house and we had to call the police again” – says Nino.

While waiting for shelter, girls broke up. According to Nino, Gulnar was unable to deal with being in Germany and moved back with her parents.

“While being here together, I wouldn’t say we were comfortable with each other. We did not have money, did not know the language and did not have the right to work. Her parents constantly badgered us, we had to deal with a lot of bureaucracy, we did not have the chance to be together, as a normal couple “ – She says and adds that she had also felt the same way. However, unlike Gulnat, she completely cut off her family and with it her road back home.

Upon Gulnar’s return home, Nino was denied shelter in Germany.

“I was paralyzed with fear. Do I have to return home now? I have lost everything and everyone, I am a nobody and now I have to return to Georgia? – recalls Nino.

However, with the help of NGOs Nino was able to find a legal way to stay in Germany – started a job in a Bio shop and studying at a college. Right now Nino has midterms, German girlfriend and is happy. But:

“What I have been through, I would not go through again. Yes, I am happy now, but I would erase the past two years of my life if I could. It was a traumatic experience.”

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Elene Khoshtaria Comments on 17th of May:

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(Elene Khoshtaria – head of political party “It’s Time”)

Irrational fears surrounding 17th of May and minorities in general are, of course, not exclusive to Georian population. The issue is that these fears are fueled by powerful actors – the church, alt-right movements and pro-Russian groups, and most concerningly government. The goals of the groups that are controlled from Russia have the same goals in Georgia that the Kremlin has in other countries. Their goal is to fragment society, cause conflict and increase tension. In Georgia LGBTQ theme is a great means for that goal.

Government serves this exact purpose. However, among them might be real homophobes or those who try to appeal to society for electoral purposes.

Family Sanctity day was only intended as a tool against LGBTQ comunity. The Church attempted to occupy public spaces on the 17th of May to push all minorities out. This also shows everyone where the power lies. That is all that Family Sanctity day stands for.

Homophobia is damaging to everyone, every societal group, no matter how powerful. Consequently, when the bearers of this persecution of minorities were religious institutions and then the talk started about the existence of homosexuals within this institution – the church was damaged . When priests armed with chairs, organised by the church, are chasing the youth, while there are people within the church who are part of this minority, it must be shocking.

Every group should have the right to freedom of expression. Including those who are not accepted by many. To exist in public spaces is a right that any member of the community should have unfortunately, as of now that requires us to fight. Protesting is one of the best ways to fight, that’s why I think it’s important to celebrate the 17th of May.

In actuality our main problem is disconnection from each other. Oftentimes people who share similar values and ideas don’t know about each other’s existence. Queer poeple should know that they are not alone, there are many people in this country that will fight fot their rights. I believe it is my responsibility as a politician to do so.

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Khatuna Samnidze Comments on 17th of May

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(Khatuna Samnidze – Chairman of the Republican Party)

Members of the government not only don’t work for the reduction of transphobia and homophobia, by increasing awareness, but in turn use LGBTQ community to their advantage. marginalized homophobic groups will always exist in our society but they should not be encouraged by the government. Our government often averts their gaze away from aggressive acts, attacks, and even strengthens these groups. That is why they dare to do all this.

I don’t think that in this society the homophobic issue is as prevalent and/or unsolvable as alt-right groups present it as. Even Though stereotypes are still very strong in this country, compared to previous years there is progress. In my own view, and every research also supports this, society isn’t inherently aggressive, but these marginalized groups stir up hatred and controversy in society.

This is used by political powers or politicians because they know that these themes arouse emotions and are connected to traditions. Distorted portrayal of LGBTQ topics is to cause aggression. This is how Russian propaganda works as well.

The Patriarchate also believes that preying on LGBT people strengthens the church. This is their view, but I don’t see it like that; faithful, church-going folk identify aggression from priests as a problem. God’s gospel or god’s love rejects any aggression or encouragement of aggression. They lost many people’s trust, the church lost its authority, but they continue on the same path because Russia’s power in the Patriarchate is strong. They need these groups to influence society with Russian thematics and methods. Their goal is to spread as much fear as possible to then manipulate people based on their interests. Unfortunately, it worked on a part of our society. Establishment of Family Sanctity day is this type of directed action.

I am in support of open meetings, being public, because we have to melt this ice between us. In my opinion, the aggression that was against LGBTQ people wont be there, because the climate has changed for the better. Additionally, the government must accept responsibility for peoples safety, but i’m not as hopeful for that. Maybe we can think of a form of gathering, with the consultation of LGBT people, to avoid violence.

In my opinion, the network of LGBT community supporters should be strengthened so that community members, especially people living in the regions, know that they are dignified, valuable people. No matter what others try to instill, and that they have supporters.

Children should be protected against violence in schools. Young people who discovered they were different should not have to stress about it, or become victims of violence because of it. We can protect these children with educational reform and I too must contribute to this goal.

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Gigi Tsereteli Comments on 17th of May

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(Gigi Tsereteli – Politician, Member of the Parliament of Georgia five times (1999, 2003, 2008, 2012, 2016), President of the OSCE Parliamentary Assembly from 2017 to December 14, 2020)

Aggressive and homophobic attitudes toward LGBT community members are of course very problematic. Just in the last three weeks there were a few attacks on homophobic grounds against LGBT community members, which was reported in the media.

On May 17, the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, we are not talking about the personal life and lifestyle of others, on this day we are talking about how unacceptable such an attitude towards our own citizens is, first of all – violence, aggression, intolerance.

These fundamental rights need to be protected for every citizen regardless of their affiliation with this or that minority group. When it doesn’t happen, results are horrible – this increases tension in society, feeling of danger, because it creates a syndrome of impunity, which encourages further crimes.

All of this has an effect on countries’ politics, because society is the basis of politics and it is members of the society who become politicians. Afterwards, politics teaches society by which rules they should live, with which views, which principles and what legislation to be guided by. Precisely this is the purpose of politics – to serve society and give it guidance.

Aggressive climate in the society is caused by many issues, poverty, unbearable living. This environment is a breading ground for homophobic and xenophobic forces, for them to mobilize their supporters and voters for their political goals.

political parties and/or movements mobilize their electorate around hatred and aggression, we have numerous examples of this. In my opinion, for a country that claims to want democracy and development, that wants to be a member of civilized society, the government needs to play a calming role and not encourage more conflict and violence in society.

Any group should be allowed to publicly gather, express their views, protest and ect. The protection of this right must be guaranteed by the state. When the government fails to do so, chances of homophobic and transphobic violence increases.

The church has a special role in this process, because it has trust of the society and has a strong influence on public opinion. Due to this fact, the church needs to be especially careful when it comes to aggression against minorities by the majority in society. When the church should be calling for more tolerance, the members of the clergy are showing aggression, they themselves are violent toward minorities this, of course, harms the church itself.

It is a notable event, the celebration of Family Sanctity Day on May 17th. Naturally the church has the right to celebrate any day, whether its Family Sanctity Day or some other, But this should in no way take the form of a contraction with the desire to carry out further violence. This is not justified by law or public order. Everyone has the right of assembly, no matter the community or minority. They have the right to express protest and it should not become a reason for confrontation and violence by other groups.

Violence should not be prohibited in any circumstance. Safety should be guaranteed by the state, who has the right tools for it. We can see that whenever the government wants, it can even prevent, isolate, hinder or avoid complications. However, when it doesn’t the unfortunate scenes that we have witnessed happen, sadly.

The situation is even worse for the LGBT community or other minority groups in the regions, where community members face more problems, stigmas or discriminatory attitudes.

If human rights are protected in the country, which is guaranteed by the Constitution of Georgia, then minorities will be full-fledged members of society.

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Ucha Nanuashvili comments on May 17

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(Ucha Nanuashvili – Public Defender of Georgia from December 2012 to December 2017, Head of the Institute for Democracy Research)

The main problem is the state policy of pushing out the LGBT community from the public spaces. Sadly, this has been happening for years and the government hasn’t taken any drastic measures toward ending it.

Till this day the groups that participated in the violence in 2013 still have not been properly punished. This act of not being punished creates more incentive for further crimes. And violent groups benefit from this policy of the government.

Societal awareness, the stereotypes that fuel stigma and violence against LGBT community is a whole different topic. Government is acting on a political agenda instead of politics based on equality and human rights, where every group’s rights will be protected.

Whenever the government needs support of conservative part of society they change the constitution, when they need to associate with EU or need assistance from international partners, they implement anti-discrimination laws. However, the truth is that, for years now they have been prohibiting LGBT activists from gathering openly and publicly or they are given this right only under strict regulations.

In past years especially, there has been a rise of hate groups and crimes against people of the community. Meanwhile the reaction from the government is either minimal or completely absent. The scale of violence against queer people has increased significantly.

A whole different problem is government representatives and generally politicians expressing homophobic views in their public speeches, which incentivizes stigmatization even more. The state needs the right policy to change this situation and, most importantly, political will.

LGBTQ community members need to use any means that exist, whether inside or outside of the country, to protect their rights. It is necessary to use all effective tools, and for this goal it is especially important to record and document all cases of human rights violations, as well as to work actively with human rights organizations, media and state institutions.

What goal does the church proclaiming 17th of May as a Family Sanctity day serve? They could have chosen any other day to do so, also any religious organization can declare this or that day as a day of protection of something. But it is the government’s responsibility to protect every citizen’s rights and equality, including the freedom of expression and of assembly. The state has this obligation, which unfortunately does not fulfill.

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Mikheil Kumsishvili Comments on 17th of May

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(Mikheil Kumsishvili – Labor Party Youth Wing Leader)

The church declaring the 17th of May as Familiy Sanctity day is their counterattack against LGBTQ community, who is protesting against oppression on homophobic grounds on this very day. In my own view, any organization or individual, including the church, has the right to celebrate some particular event whenever they want, if it counts as their freedom of expression. But I don’t understand why religious institutions express so much hate toward those who have especially hard lives and unfair treatment of them is not uncommon. After all, Christianity itself is supposed to help and support those who are oppressed…

By my evaluations, society’s attitudes aren’t something to be envious of. Today, the majority of the population is really stereotyped towards homosexuals and perceives it as a certain “disease” rather than a natural phenomenon. This is mainly caused by Russian propaganda and misinformation in the Georgian media sphere. It is part of Russia’s hybrid war to not allow Georgia to develop democratic values, as well as not to protect human rights and not to make the mentality of the society more tolerant. This will let Russia keep Georgia in its orbit and not allow it to integrate in western society.

Those political groups that encourage and support violence on homophobic grounds are either financed from Russia or themselves are victims of Russian ideology. When there is a demand from the society for homophobic politics, there will be groups that will fulfill that demand. Not only is there an invisible hand in economics, but in politics the same principle applies, when there is demand – there is supply, it is a kind of chain reaction.

Any event that fits into freedom of thought and expression is acceptable to me and the legislation in this regard is more or less regulated. However, the extent to which it is actually enforced and the weather law enforcement ensures the safe and complete implementation of the measure is a separate issue. The past has shown us that these types of problems are still not solved.

Organizing a march should become an event for the sake of an event. It has to actually accomplish its goals – reducing homophobic attitudes, raising public awareness and making it more tolerant. I think, to reach this goal, very well organized events with high attendance are needed.

Otherwise the community can be more discredited rather than being aided. Because of this, members of the community must treat this subject with great responsibility. They need to prepare proper ground, the organizational, as well as in terms of campaign.

To those members of the community that live in regions, I’d say that they are not alone and don’t have some kind of disease. They should love themselves and not reject themselves just because they are different from the majority. Try to establish relationships with relevant organizations that work on LGBTQ issues, get more information, raise awareness and make friends who will understand them. In the modern world, using social networks, all this is simplified.

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Sopho

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17th of May is a day of fear for me. On 17th May of 2013 I was in Israel, but I saw my friends be raided. I was very anxious, could not sleep for three days. Imagine that people that you know are threatened with death.

Generally, I am not a supporter of pride and protests. I believe that there are other, better ways to increase visibility. I think that by working with the government, we can achieve more by legislative changes. Like this, people just get annoyed and until they have learned, that they will be held accountable for violence, I believe, holding protests makes no sense.

If the government abandons the LGBTQ community members, of course, the society will do so as well. The government must announce that we will be protected, that violence and protests against us will not be allowed, and that our protection is important for the country – without all of this, Pride and protests will always be dangerous for us.

I do not wish to diminish anyone’s motivation; everyone has their own way of fighting and everyone should act in the way that they believe is correct. For me, at the given moment, protests are not the best way of expression.

I am 37 years old and I have spent my whole life on demonstrations. Some things were changed with them: for example, the public and even the law enforcement agencies react to the facts of violence against women differently from what it used to be years ago. I don’t think that the condition of and attitudes toward the LGBTQ community members can be changed by saying that we should be accepted the way that we are.

I’m not sure, but maybe some things can be more effective than demonstrations. We could explain to our family members, friends and relatives, that we are those people with “different orientations”, whom they do not love, are afraid of and wish to destroy; nor do we deserve such attitude from them.

Important changes do not happen suddenly. If we wish to be accepted as we are, we should also accept the society the way it is – with all of its fears, aggressions, lack of knowledge and distorted information. We should respect each other. We might have a long way to go before recognition, but nothing is impossible.

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Monica

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17th of May is both a day of pride and sadness. The day during which we could walk proudly, show people who we are, how we are, and what we want, was taken away from us. I do not understand why the patriarchate needs this particular day to celebrate Family Day – they only showed us that they are “cooler”, have more supporters and whenever they want to, they can enjoy the privileges that the state has given them.

There are varying opinions whether Pride is necessary not only in society, but among the LGBTQ community itself. Some do not want to jeopardize their lives, some are tired, others do not see a point in doing it and I do understand where they’re coming from. However, it is crucial for us to have a day to come outside together. Some people think of us as having horns, while others imagine us with wings; some think that transsexuality and homosexuality are contagious diseases and whomever we look at or touch will also become gay or trans.

This is exactly why we need Pride. People need to see that we have neither horns nor wings, that we are not dangerous, or asking for some kind of privileges – we only want equality and the ability to live the way that others do. We are normal people and not just some “LGBT-whatever” abbreviation that sounds scary and vague.

The process of becoming self-aware and accepting yourself is just as important. It wouldn’t be right to say that we always know everything, we are always in the right, we like everything about ourselves and we live in a horrible society that does not understand us. We, ourselves, have questions, fights, we work on our strengths and weaknesses and try to develop, and be better – this is a normal process and that’s how everyone should be. Once you have properly gotten to know and accepted yourself, many things become easier.

Even though we still are only taking baby steps, in the last 10 years, at least, the situation changed significantly through public speeches, direct meetings, lectures, conversations.

I don’t live in Georgia anymore, however, while I did, I constantly suffered from a feeling of unsafety – I was always ready to be attacked. For many years I slept with a knife hidden under my pillow, in case that someone would barge into my house to kill me, to protect myself, to at least put up a fight before they killed me.

The final decision to leave Georgia was because of those reasons: to be able to live with dignity, peacefully take care of my own education, personal growth, and to be a normal member of society.

To everyone, who is alone right now, is confused or suffers from a feeling of unsafety, I urge to speak up, to ask for help from LGBTQ organizations, social workers and demand to be protected.

If anyone is still in the process of learning about themselves, I support them from here. I don’t want them to be afraid – this is also a normal process; we will always have some unanswered questions toward ourselves, but we still should be able to be happy. The main thing is to not give up, lift our heads and be happy. We deserve it.

All of us were scared when we went outside or started talking about our sexuality, asked for recognition, but if you do not protect yourself, accept yourself as you are and take charge of your own happiness – no one else can do it for you. When growing up we are not taught to love and respect ourselves. Our parents also grew up without that knowledge, but that does not mean that we cannot develop and love ourselves the way we are.

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Tony

Published on

17th of May is a celebration for me, a shared birthday for queers that is associated with great pain and sadness, because in Georgia we are not allowed to celebrate. We are not allowed to be ourselves for at least one day a year.

We have had attempts to speak up about our rights, increase visibility and acceptance since 2012. However, the homophobic background does not give us a chance to do that. We still are not able to live with dignity and happiness in this country.

We are told that we should look and act the way that society wants us to. Of course, there are some brave and confident people that nowadays go outside looking the way that they enjoy, but at what cost: so much suffering, bulling, anxiety, persecution, cyberattacks are a constant part of such lives.

It doesn’t really matter to me if I am able to go outside on 17th of May. It matters to me to be able to go outside peacefully and safely, the way I want to, every day of the year. Not only does the state not provide preventative measures to protect us, it does not even fulfill the anti-discriminatory law. It appears that this law has no value or power.

What kind of freedom of speech are we talking about, when I am only allowed to walk through police carton like an animal, stand in front of the cameras like an exotic creature, as if to protest something, and then go back through the carton. I do not want to be a chimpanzee inside a cage, that is taken away from danger with yellow buses, like some kind of an exhibit. I should be able to protect my right to live without those cartons.

To those queer people, that still have not found any supporters and are alone, I would like to say that they should not be scared or ashamed of anything, that they should not hide. It might seem comfortable to live in the closet, but it’s only temporary – a day will come when they will find their supporters that will fight with them and for their rights. Homophobia and Transphobia is like a Pandemic – someday it will be over.

I’m not just saying this, to make myself feel better. If we compared how much has changed since 2012, when we were being chased with a stool to be killed, to today, we will see that change still happens. Today I can freely go out while wearing colorful clothes and an earring with my friends.

Small changes might be difficult to notice, but they are still as important: for example, policeman training programs. When I used to call the police in 2012 in cases of violence, they would always ask me whether I was a “faggot” or a “transvestite”. Now they don’t ask me anymore if I’m a member of “sexual minorities”. It is also important that nowadays there is much more information available about Queer people in Georgian language, whether its articles or videos. It is crucial that such information is reliable and of good quality. These changes are the merit of those activists who was not afraid to speak up, of those organizations that work without a break, and of everyone who chose love instead of hate.

This still does not mean that we can be calm – there are some Neo-Fascist groups getting stronger in Georgia, whose one of the objectives is to harm queer people. I really love life, and I want to be alive, I do not want to fall victim to hatred or lose my friends. We deserve to be able to say that we lived a dignified life and it was all worth it in the end.

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Giorgi

Published on

17th of May for me is a day of solidarity and memory of those that fell victim to hatred. We only have this one day, in which we can be who we truly are – all the days in the year should be for that, but sadly that is not the case.

Queer community needs 17th of May, a day against homophobia and transphobia, to support others. Those that are still questioning, who feel alone, are plagued by uncertainty and don’t know how to defend themselves. To show them that they’re not alone. That we’re fighting for them when we walk outside.

Mostly negative attitudes toward us are the result of propaganda addressed against us and the spread of misinformation. Replacement of 17th of May, a day against transphobia and homophobia, with a “Family day” is also a part of this propaganda. Political actors who rule the propaganda machines are rich and powerful. They don’t care about the sanctity of Family, it is only a weapon to cast us out.

17th May of 2013 was also a lesson for us, that we shouldn’t put lives in danger even in the purest of causes. At the same time, the fact that we were dispersed and the government did not protect us does not mean that we should give up on fighting. We should not give up on our goals and look for other less painful ways to defend our rights.

Just marches are not enough. It is important to utilize the time in between. In contrast, we can use it to our advantage: we can also say that the sanctity of family is important to us, that we also have families, and we also love our family members and whatever they say, we are neither perverted nor sinful. We are normal people. On the contrary, bullying and taking away rights from other people is the perverted and unfair thing to do.

Fear comes from ignorance and we need to provide accurate information about us. The way we are victims of hatred, so are the people that were duped by misinformation and hatred campaigns. Including our family members and friends, those who fear LGBTQ people and want to destroy us.

If we don’t conquer our fears our whole society will be defeated and those hatred groups and political actors that use propaganda against us. Bullying and hatred toward us are political actors’ way to manipulate people, become more powerful and rich, gain more support and divert attention from real issues.

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