Questions You Shouldn’t Ask Someone Who Has Come out

What to will you do if your friend has decided to come out to you? Are you going to ask them whether they’re sure about it, or are you just going to tell them that you’re proud of them? Unfortunately, a lot of people choose the first option, because they do not have enough knowledge about the LGBTQ+ community.


So if there’s a person around you who has come out, instead of asking them a bunch of question it’s better to do your own research.


We’ll tell you which questions not to ask LGBTQ+ community members.

Are you sure about this?


Many people think that it’s not very wrong to ask a person if they’re sure about this decision. They forget that being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is only natural. Before asking someone this question and trying to find out how they came to this conclusion, take into account that certain words can harm them more than you could imagine. That’s why, before asking, make sure to fully understand their meaning.

Is this just a phase?


You will often the question of “is this a phase?” toward a person who has come out quite often. This isn’t just wrong, but awkward as well. Identifying as LGBTQ+ is not a phase that will pass at some point and it’s important to understand this. It’s possible that judgment and asking inappropriate questions might make someone feel uncomfortable and unacceptable in the society.


Did a man/woman break your heart?


Often when someone identifies as a gay or a lesbian people think that it’s because someone broke their heart and they’ve “decided” to change their identity. Firstly, we should remember that sexual orientation is not a choice. Most LGBTQ+ people feels uncomfortable when someone inquires about their sexual identity. Why should we put them in an awkward position and look into personal details when we can simply support them?


And finally, if we’re not capable of doing it, it’s better to just stay silent.



Illustration: Nadia Bormotova

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