February 2022 - Page 2

Miko Shakhdinarian – Get to Know Yourself Before Introducing Yourself to the World

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My name is Mkrtich Shakhdinarian, but my friends and family members call me Miko. I was born in Tetritskaro, grew up in Samgori and graduated from Ilia State University, Faculty of Natural Sciences. I now have several jobs and countless hobbies.

In my opinion, equality is a part of a healthy society and it concerns all of us. If there is no equality, anyone, including the privileged ones, can become a victim of discrimination. It’s noteworthy that individuals might have particular needs, and they must be given the resources for development and worthy lives.

I’ve considered myself an activist since 2019. That’s when I first got involved with Tbilisi Pride, while the first rally I attended was “No to Theocracy” on May 24, 2013.

As for my family, I grew up in quite a traditional and conservative environment. The society seemed to indirectly oblige my family to be twice as exemplary, because we didn’t have the privilege of having a Georgian surname, at least, I still perceive it that way.

I was 17 when I realized that I liked boys too. It only took me about 3 months to accept that, but it took me 10 times as much time to tell that to other people.

Ethnicity-wise, in order to make people understand that you are just as much of a citizen as them, you need to work, talk and persuade others way more. There was a time when the existence of gay people in Georgia was blamed on Armenians, there were a few episodes like that. These two cultures have co-existed for thousands of years and I don’t understand how there are no positive attitudes toward each other historically.

There are quite a lot of stereotypes about Armenians and I’m not going to start listing them now, but I can tell you a funny story. During one of the flights, when I was returning to Tbilisi through Istanbul, I had a middle-aged lady sit next to me. After asking many questions, she insisted that I tell her my last name. When she got her answer she said – “so what, it’s okay, dear”. I’m not ashamed of my identity, while some people think it’s a disadvantage. One factor that can be singled out is the Georgian-Armenian community, which has not been tolerant within the group itself, for many years, I have not had contact with them and I do not know what the situation is there now.

Finally, I want to tell you to get to know yourself before introducing yourself to the world. Do not give up your happiness. Maybe reincarnation is real, but we’ve got no proof of that, so we should at least try and spend our lives with love and happiness.

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Selena Bukhaidze – I Didn’t Run Away, I Saved My Life

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I am Selena, a 31-year-old transgender woman. I’m goal-oriented, hardworking. A woman that is not scared of problems. I’m neither uptight, nor easygoing; I’m just straightforward, which is something that many might not like.

I don’t really remember my childhood in much detail. I lived in Kutaisi with my family. I would make my mom angry a lot, I was never a calm child. I went through abuse as well, about which I spoke once on a TV show, but it’s a painful subject and I don’t want to be remembering the details now.

As for the discovery of my identity, I didn’t have a kind of a “this is me” moment. This was preceded by a lot of other stages and so much confusion. At some point, you know that you now understand it all, but it’s a negative feeling, to feel that people are scared of you. I never publicly came out as a transgender woman. A funny thing happened to me – my friend accidentally posted a photo of me on social media, in which I had red nail polish which we noticed too late, and that’s how my mom found out.

My transitioning began years ago in Turkey, with an old friend of mine, whom I met there. She is also a transgender woman and we’re still friends to this day. Going through the stages and getting to the last levels of transitioning is just like setting goals – if you want to, you can achieve them, and if you give up – it’ll never work. I don’t remember the exact dates. I took my first steps there – I got my first operations and, surprisingly enough, I got used to the free environment very fast, living there was quite enjoyable. When I came back to Georgia, I got really stressed out. I locked myself in; Nothing good ever happened, I was just constantly stuck at home. Sometimes my friends would come to visit. In fact, for a transgender woman living in Georgia, as a sex worker – there is no joy in life, it’s all just stress. Of course, there are plenty of problems in Georgia. There are a lot of obstacles in the society. Even if I don’t get murdered, it doesn’t mean that other people won’t be murdered or abused. During work, I always have a fear that someone will attack me. Who should I hope for to help me at this time? The police? It’s impossible to think that they’ll help me, because most of them are abusers themselves.

Finally, I came to a conclusion, that people change. I can’t be a sex-worker forever. This wasn’t my life. I didn’t want to spend my life doing that, so I decided to leave the country, together with my friends. This wasn’t an easy decision. Just momentarily leaving your country and knowing that you’ll never see the people that you love. But I needed to leave in order to survive and make a better life for myself. Besides, the main reasons to leave Georgia were the recent events that took place, especially in the summer. That was when I realized that this wasn’t just about the LGBTQ+ community, it was just about anyone that’s different.

So many things have changed after I left. It’s like I was reborn. Of course, there are homophobes in every country. No one is really obligated to like and love you, but here, everyone respects you, the law does its job and no one can do anything to you. Most importantly – they view you as a person. People are really nice here. We have an adorable assistant, a very lovely person that often invites us to her family. Of course, everyone needs to adapt, once they find themselves in a foreign environment. I’m not even considering to come back to Georgia, but maybe, years later, I’ll come to visit for a few days. I’m not planning on it anytime soon.

I want to tell the queers of Georgia that when you can see that you’re fighting for your life and everyone is against you, leaving the country isn’t running away, it’s saving your life. This is survival. If someone wants a peaceful life, they should go to another country and use this chance. I would also say that they should do things the way they deem necessary. It doesn’t matter what people will say. You might have to lose the people who mean a lot to you at some point, but it’s okay, because we weren’t born in order to be the way others want us to be. It’s a difficult path, but it’s worth it.

I’m not saying, of course, that everyone should leave the country. It’s just that a lot of people do not have this information and to leave, to experience personal growth, and maybe even return and some point – isn’t the same as running away. I didn’t run away, I saved my life, and I went to a place where my life is worth something, and I didn’t stay in Georgia where other people get to decide if I should live or not.

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The Importance of the Transgender Flag and the History of its Creation

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The main colors of the transgender people are: pink, blue and white. The idea to create the flag came into existence in 1999 and it was created by an openly transgender individual, Monica Helms. The flag first appeared in 2000, on a pride held in Arizona State.

Monica Helms

The upper and lower lines on the flag are light blue, so-called “traditional” color for boys. Next to it is pink – “traditional” color for girls, and the middle white line represents intersex people, those who are going through the transitioning process or are gender-neutral. “The idea of the flag is as such – it doesn’t matter which direction you go; the path is always correct” – these are the words that the author describes the meaning of the flag with.

 

Monica Helms, who’s a veteran of US Navy, is also an activist and a writer. At the moment she lives in Atlanta and is actively involved in organizing International Transgender Commemoration Day in this state. She donated the first transgender flag to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C., which houses LGBT-themed collections and specimens.

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Orange the World – 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence

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Violence against women and girls is one of the most common human rights violations. Violence against women still often goes unpunished because of silence, stigma and shame.

November 25 is the International Day for ending the violence against women. On this day, the 16-day campaign against gender-based violence in the world begins, ending on December 10 – International Human Rights Day. The aim of the campaign is to raise public awareness of the challenges and problems of violence against women.

Who are the Mirabal Sisters?

Women’s rights activists have been marking November 25 as the Day for the Elimination of Gender-Based Violence since 1981. This date was chosen in honor of the Mirabal Sisters, three political activist women. Sisters Patria, Minerva, and Maria Theresa fought against the dictatorial regime of Rafael Trujillo in the Dominican Republic, and on November 25, 1960, all three lost their lives.

Mirabal sisters were called “the butterflies” (“Las Mariposas”). They were from one of the provinces of the Dominican Republic – Salcedo, had university education, a career, were married and had children. Prior to their death, the sisters spent 10 years fighting the Trujillo regime, two of them, Minerva and Maria Teresa, had even been imprisoned several times for activism.

“If they kill me, I will reach my hand out from the grave and be even stronger” – these are the words with which Minerva responded to everyone who tried to warn her about the dangers. On November 25. 1960, her corpse was found in a car in a ravine, along with her two sisters – Patria and Maria Theresa. Over half a century later, Minerva’s promise has come true – the death of the sisters is viewed as the main factor that lead to the fall of Trujillo’s regime, and the name of the Mirabal sisters became a global symbol of women’s fight.

What is violence against women?

The 1993 Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women, issued by the UN General Assembly, defines violence against women as “any act of gender-based violence that causes or may cause physical, sexual, psychological harm or suffering, including threats, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, in public or private life.”

According to the current legislation of Georgia, violence against women means all actions characteristic of gender-based violence against women in public or private life, which results in or may result in physical, psychological or sexual suffering or economic harm to women, including threats to commit such acts, or arbitrary deprivation of liberty for them.

Physical violence – beating, torture, damage to health, unlawful deprivation of liberty or any other act that causes physical pain or suffering; Failure to comply with health requirements, resulting in injury or death of a family member;

Psychological violence – insults, blackmail, humiliation, threats or other actions that violate human dignity and honor;

Sexual Abuse – Sexual intercourse with violence, threats of violence, or the use of victim helplessness; Sexual intercourse or any other act of a sexual nature or fornication towards a minor;

Economic violence – an act that results in the restriction of the right to food, housing and other related conditions, the use of property and labor rights, as well as the use of co-owned property and the right to utilize of one’s share;

Coercion – the physical or psychological coercion of a person to perform or not to perform an action, the performance of which a person has the right to refrain from, or to influence them against their will;

According to the statistics, one in three women in the world has experienced some form of violence at least once in their life. While any woman might fall victim to gender-based violence, some women and girls are particularly vulnerable. These are young girls, older women, women who identify as lesbians, bisexuals, transgender or intersex, migrants and refugees, those who represent ethnic minorities, and women living with disabilities. The slogan of the worldwide campaign to raise awareness about violence against women this year is as follows: “Orange the World! End Violence Against Women Now!” Orange is a symbol of a bright, non-violent future for women and girls.

Several events have already been held in Georgia within the framework of the 16-day campaign: The women’s rights organization Sapari held a conference on “Sexual Offenses: Challenges in Law and Practice”, which addressed issues related to the practice of investigating and prosecuting sexual offenses, as well as topics related to legislative changes in the area of ​​sexual offenses.

 

On November 26, the presentation of the online platform “Femina +” was held, created by the women’s rights NGO Femina. The aim of the platform is, through multimedia content, to raise awareness about the problems and current issues that women face in their daily lives. Rights and freedoms, discrimination, violence against women, various forms of violence, gender stereotypes, glass ceiling, pay gap, reproductive and sexual health, ecofeminism, gender, peace and security and more.

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8 Queer Photographers on Instagram

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Photography has always surrounded the lives of LGBTQ + people. It is impossible to deny the importance of photography as an art form – be it documenting the facts of the fight or the moments during which we are coming closer to equality. It seeks to reduce the sense of difference that queer people experience and to remind heterosexuals that the queers are also ordinary people.

In this article, we present 8 queer photographers, whose creations you can see with on Instagram:

1. Laurence Philomene

IG: laurencephilomene

2. Emmie America

IG: emmieamerica

3. Vic Lentaigne

IG: viclentaigne

4. Kito Muñoz

IG: kito.munoz

5. Kostis Fokas

IG: kostis.fokas

6. Heather Glazzard

IG: heather_glazzard

7. Clifford Prince King

IG: cliffordprinceking

8. Mengwen Cao 

IG: mengwencao

Main Photo: Kostis Fokas

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The Colors and History of the Asexual Pride Flag

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Just like the Pansexual pride flag, the Asexual flag was created in 2010 and it expresses a few identities, including demisexuality. Demisexual is a person that experiences sexual attraction only after they’ve established an emotional connection.

There was a need for a symbol for asexual people that wouldn’t be connected with any other groups. That’s where the idea to create the flag came from – in the summer of 2010, the design was chosen by users through voting on the internet.

The asexual flag consists of 4 colors and each one has its own meaning:

Black – Asexuality

Gray – Asexuality and Demisexuality

White – non-asexual partners and supporters

Purple – the society, unity

After 2010, the use of the asexual flag began around the world. It can often be seen on a variety of accessories, clothing and parades.

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Netflix will Release Documentary Series About the History of Coming Out

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The online streaming service is releasing a new documentary series that will tell the story of the coming out of Colton Underwood.

Colton Underwood is a former American football player and TV personality who, after finishing his sports career, starred in the TV show, The Bachelorette. The reality show has been airing for many years, with one single man (The Bachelor) trying to find the right woman for him each season.

Colton Underwood, who came out last year, says the coronavirus and mass lockdowns have accelerated his coming out story and he decided that he no longer had any time to live in a lie and hide.

 

The documentary series, which will air on Netflix on December 3, consists of a total of 6 episodes, and each episode tells the story of Colton Underwood, how his coming out was accepted by the family and the community that had known him as a heterosexual man for many years.

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I Look Forward to the Day When I See at Least Someone Else Free from This Prison

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When did you first discover your identity and how did that feel?

I’m not sure about the exact age, but I knew that something was different since a very young age. I don’t mean early ages of childhood; I mean about 13-15 years. I didn’t really understand what was going on with me, I didn’t have many questions, however, I was an outsider in most situations – at school, in the yard, etc. It was hard for me to find things in common with others, as if I had ended up in some situations by accident.

The only thing I remember that I knew that I couldn’t ask questions about it. It’s like for the first time in my life I built a strong protective barrier around me and I was completely alone inside it. No one came in to visit me, and there was no magical key to open the door. It was just myself and I – my safe space.

What path did you go through before coming out to your own self?

Coming to terms with my identity was a very difficult path for me. At first I had friends that I said were my girlfriends. I had so much respect for them, and I mistook those feelings for love, attraction and even sex.

During the following stage, there was a person in my life, whom I worked with and we talked a lot.

I remember that it was hard to find a name for what was going on, but I still found ways to voice my thoughts, to feed my soul and so I had this friend, with whom I didn’t admit my true feelings. There was a strong desire between us, we talked all day and night. This was enough for them as well, until everything changed. They “admitted” their orientation to me. I couldn’t, so I chose to just leave.

This breakup was so hard for me that I knew exactly what was happening, otherwise it wouldn’t have been so hard. I’m not sure how I went through this period. I was a school student then, probably in 10th grade. I think my everyday routine also helped me get over them. They left me with the truth, with which I live up until this day and I’m very thankful to them, even though they still don’t even know about my attitudes.

What is life without coming out like? Or when only a closed circle of friends knows the truth?

As I said in the beginning, I created a barrier around me at a young age and despite the fact that sometimes I get the urges to tell people that I’m also one of those people that they speak poorly of, it doesn’t bother me too much. Because of my principles, I don’t think that everyone needs to know about my sexual orientation. However, it is true that the reality would be quite different if I had a different social circle.

My narrow circle of friends that I’ve acquired is exactly the thing that gives me the nourishment that society has long wanted to take away. These are the people that stand by my side when I’m struggling and when I have strong feelings of protest, for example, relating to the recent events that have taken place.

I don’t want the reader to perceive this as if I’m ashamed of anything, or that I wouldn’t feel proud to announce it. The thing is that my coming out could harm a lot of people that I care for. It isn’t worth it for me to hurt them just to know my sexual orientation – those that should know already know about it.

When I think about the benefits, I think it would put an end to such questions as – “When are you getting married?” This is something as I get asked a lot, especially as I’m getting older now. However, I always reply that I’m not going to do that and it’d be better if they took that into consideration. I guess that is my coming out – I don’t want to lie anymore.

And as for the lies… I do find it hard that I have to lie in certain situations, however it’s not a type of lie that would hurt anyone other than me.

Do you think there’s a way to have a personal life in Georgia?

Unfortunately, no. I don’t want to sound bold, but it isn’t an unknown fact, that our country is still very much behind. I can’t think about my personal life in Georgia, that could be public and normalized. However, we are taking some baby steps toward this, the authors of which are the young people fighting in the front lines, activists, or just supporters. I think progress takes a lot of time and by that time I will be too old, but I still am waiting to see other people be free from this prison.

What’s your opinion on the Georgian queer activism? Are you involved in it? What would you change?

I have much respect for those that publicly fight for equality, in order to change the existing reality. In the past, heroism was going to a war, and in our time – I think that’s exactly what heroism is. They are just as scared of the ignorant mob, but for them the goals come before the fear.

As for myself, I definitely wouldn’t call myself an activist, however, I’ve been in many situations of discrimination toward someone, and I never stay silent with those. This is the bare minimum that I can do, but I cannot compare myself to those people that go through it every day.

And finally, as for change, I don’t think that I would change anything. One thing that comes to mind is the group of radicals, that announce their sexual orientations from different, radical ways. However, this is also their choice and we can’t take that away, radicalism also has goals of its own.

Who is the one person that it would be the hardest to come out to? Why?

It’s definitely my mother, the most important person for me. Other than her, the rest of my family members.

That’s how life is, and this formula applies to other relationships as well – you don’t want to hurt those people that are the dearest to you, and even if that result is not guaranteed, the risk is always there.

Have you ever thought about leaving Georgia? If so, what was the reason?

I have thought about it, but I would never do it. Maybe the thing that prevents me from doing it is my career, my job that helps me not think about the fact the current situation in this country. If I was to leave, I would leave for one reason only – more freedom.

What would you tell those queer people that are going through those stages that you’ve already gone through?

I would tell them that there’s nothing to be afraid of and they should trust life more. The main thing is to not be afraid to live, and everything else will work out, the life itself will help them become better people. And finally, to be more content with themselves, know their worth and values, to not walk with their head down because they are attracted to the same sex and if they’re lucky enough to find someone who shares their opinion, to enjoy that reality and live life to the fullest.

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Nina Gogritchiani – from Music to Illustrating

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Nita Gogritchiani is an illustrator and a graphical designer from Georgia, who graduated from the Multimedia Faculty of the Academy of Arts and completed a graphic design course at the Academy of Digital Industry.

As a child, she used to draw, but as she says, illustrating isn’t something she had always dreamed of. For 13 years she was involved with music and everyone around her expected that she would study at the conservatory, but during her final year she decided to study something new.

“I gave up music and decided to study at the Academy of Arts. It was a serious challenge – I only had 3 months to prepare for the exam as I didn’t even know how to properly hold a pencil in my hand. My teacher, parents, friends – everyone was extremely worried, but I did quite well on the exam. If I had make a choice all over again, I would choose the same exact path.”

She has tried different techniques and she feels the most comfortable with digital art. In 2016 she took a big step and received her first orders, as she painted portraits of people. Finally, it’s been over 2 years that she has been working as a graphic designer.

“I remember my first day at my first job. It was quite stressful. I was working for a famous, leading company and I felt a great sense of responsibility and trust. I can say that most of my experience and knowledge is thanks to this job and to the fellow employees, rather than the studying itself. Soon I was offered a different job too. So, I’m very happy with my choice.”

She doesn’t have much time to create any personal work. However, as Nita says, whatever she does always comes from the sadness, anger, happiness and other emotions of her friends and herself. She often uses her art to protest some important issues.

“In one historic district a small park was about to be demolished, and in protest, German and Georgian artists made some quick sketches. My friend and I became so interested in this concept and idea that we became active members of it. We didn’t only get to learn about Georgian regions, but we also sketched a German city and its problematic zones.”

As she says, she never searches for inspirations purposefully. The stories of other people’s experiences just stick with her in her mind. That’s also where the idea to create a series of illustrations – “Talo” came from, which you can view on Instagram.

“People often tell me that they see themselves in this character. Many think that She’s me, but that’s not true. I didn’t think about her being me when I was creating her. In the beginning of the pandemic I took an animation course, where we were given a task to create a character that we would bring to life. One glance of that character should tell us how they fell. They should make you think about those things that you haven’t thought about before, without any debates. Moreover, when everyone perceives my creation differently, that makes the process more interesting.”

During her process she likes to listen to Georgian artists. Most frequently she listens to Inola and as she says, it’s impossible to listen to her and not get inspired. The working process brings her a lot of pleasure and often she doesn’t even notice how the day has passed, she gets so involved in it that she doesn’t even feel tired, which is something that she hasn’t experienced anywhere else.

As for the future plans, Nita wants to see what she can do abroad too. She wants to find out how people work in foreign markets and to gain various experiences. Her dream is to participate in the real work process of creating an animation, which, as she says, is quite difficult and time-consuming.

The Georgian artist also shares some great advice for beginner illustrators:

“It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how much time you’ve spent in a different field. If you feel comfortable with what you’re doing now, don’t be scared and don’t hesitate. Be sure to try everything that you’ve ever wanted and you’ve ever been interested in. People often don’t choose Graphic design because they don’t know how to paint. In fact, this job doesn’t require a lot of experience in that. The sense of composition and colors will also be developed in the working process. While I was at university, I purposefully avoided getting a stable job, because I wanted to acquire knowledge first. I was scared that I would fail at something. However, this hesitation only prevented me from acquiring valuable experiences. So, don’t be scared. The main thing is to try!”

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6 Tips for Parents – How to Support Your Queer Children

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Many people are looking for ways to communicate with their child that has started to talk about their sexuality, has come out and doesn’t hide anything anymore. Despite the fact that, unfortunately, not every family can accept this easily, there are ways through which children can have their needs taken care of, and their parents also don’t have to feel discomfort in this process.

Here are a few ways to support and accept the LGBTQ+ identity of your child:

1.     Talk to your children about their feelings. Don’t be afraid to use supportive language and to hug them. Find out what they might need you to do, whether they want your help or not in the process of coming out to the relatives or friends.

2.     Speak out loud against anyone who tries to publicly embarrass your child because of their LGBTQ+ identity. These may be neighbors, relatives, and even family friends who are unwilling or reluctant to accept them. Stopping verbal abuse, humiliation, and mistreatment of your child by others can work wonders, make your child feel better, and convince them that you really support them and they are not alone in this.

3.     It is important that family members treat your child with love and respect, who is struggling to accept themselves.

 

4.     It would be nice if you could help your child discover their LGBTQ+ personality. All of this will pave the way for a good career and a secure future, because they might not see themselves in any fields.

5.     Getting to know the parents of other LGBTQ+ youth will be very helpful for you as a parent. This connection will allow you to understand their common problems that other adolescents face in this struggle. It will be a kind of safe environment where you will be able to talk openly about your problems and get support.

6.     Finally, try to communicate with your child’s LGBTQ friends, or even a partner (if they have one, of course), as this may become the ultimate symbol of acceptance that your child expects of you.

Coming out to peers, classmates, or even employees is a big change and a novelty. Therefore, it is essential to create a welcoming environment and supportive atmosphere for your children, which will improve the quality of life for both you and your child.

 

Illustration: Caitlin-Marie Miner Ong

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