It is extremely hard to be a queer parent to a child in Georgia. I went through a difficult path before I could accept my child the way that they are. This is probably caused by the environment that I grew up in. We didn’t know any LGBTQ+ people, or we knew them but had no idea about it. When my child told me about themselves I couldn’t believe it. I was confused. I was repeating the questions in my mind – how could this happen to me? Why did it have to be my child? Then I told them that it was because of their age, and it would pass as they grew up. I really believed in that. We had always had a good relationship and everything changed after that. We stopped talking, they wouldn’t tell me about their life and friends anymore. It took a few years for me to reevaluate everything. After several years my child started talking to me again and asked me to participate in a project, in which parents of LGBTQ+ would be a part of and I decided to use this opportunity.
We live in Georgia; I can’t speak publicly about it. The main reason is the society. I have accepted my child, but will others? Thinking about it scares me. The father doesn’t know either, because we don’t know how he will react and if this will only cause chaos in the family. I think I’m not ready for that either.
I want to recall the events of July 5. My child was telling be a few days before that they were going to the demonstration. I haven’t interfered in any of their decisions in a while, but of course, I was scared. On the morning of July 5 I was begging them to not go anywhere. They had changed their mind so that calmed me down. I know that living here is dangerous for them. A few days ago they told me that they want to leave. The only reason I don’t want them to, is because if they do, I don’t think they will ever come back. I’m scared to never see them again. In any case, whatever they decide, I will support them.
Parental support is extremely important for queer people. I’m saying this from personal experience. They have told me many times that after coming out, it’s like a boulder was lifted off their shoulders and we got our past, healthy relationship back. To other mom’s I would say that we must love our children unconditionally. No matter how they are, they are our children, our blood and flesh. How can we reject them?!
I have hope that the number of queer people who have parental support will increase little by little. Life will be so much easier in that way.
